Actor Creepin’: Theo James as Four

Perhaps one of the most awaited and contentious casting recently was for the part of Four in the movie version of Divergent. From the rumor mill, it sounded like every young actor between the ages of eighteen and thirty auditioned or was “in talks.” As with all highly anticipated casting news, the announcement of Theo James for the role was met with squeals of lust and fist shaking of disappointment. In my professional capacity as a girl who imagines marrying handsome actors based on magazine photos, I’m here to closely examine James’s ability to play Four based on totally superficial reasons.

The Face

Let’s just dive straight in here with a closeup.

Hmmm ok so far, so good. He’s got the chiseled cheekbones I imagined and the dark eyes.

Intense, brooding stare? Check.

Cute and sexy smile? Yes please.

The Body

Here he is shirtless and wet. You’re welcome.

No tattoos that I can see. Ah well, that’s what the makeup department is for!

Here we have a hint of well-defined arms and shoulders, perfect for Four.

And look, he’s athletic! Run, Four, run! Also, he’s totally rocking the dark colors here in an outfit that is so Dauntless.

The Acting

Pamuk! Pamuk!

Oh, Lady Mary. If only you knew then that you were getting hot and heavy with the sexiest member of the Dauntless faction.

From this picture, I gather that even proper English ladies want to bang Theo James.

Look! He can go from a seductive Turk to a convincing dead guy in seconds!

The Extracurriculars

I am about to show you the sexiest thing imaginable, which should be a relief after that horrifying picture just above. I keep looking at it and it’s just…not attractive. I guess even sexy beasts can’t pull off dead-guy-being-dragged-along-a-hallway.

I don’t care what Shere Khan is or who Will is…all I care about is the fact that Theo James is British and he can sing and I’m just going to be over here sa-wooning all the way to the Divergent premiere.


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